Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the disease.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his immediate welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Maybe that's trauma or perhaps I process things in another way, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the issue, a number of scans revealed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't sense ill. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be able to performing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the illness claims a third of people within a 365 days and above half within 730 days of identification, as swallowing and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Household Effect
Talking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We sat on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody stated the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely focused on just embracing and enjoying each moment now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been very blessed that the sole choice I made when I left playing was to devote as much period with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those periods back."
Athlete Association
Elite athletes are unevenly impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the disease is up to 600% elevated than in the broader public.
It is thought that by reducing the air accessible and causing damage to neural pathways, regular, vigorous physical activity can trigger the disease in those already genetically susceptible.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the line-out in the critical moment of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing field goal.
Support System
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a couple of other ex- players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are present is all that matters," he said.
"The sport is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your vocation, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so extended a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
